Ninety nice percent of the time I am happy with my life. I enjoy and am challenged by my 'real' job and I have amazing friends and family. I live alone and am not in a serious relationship more by choice than anything else. Howie and I spend a decent amount of time together, and the fact that it isn't a regular occurrence makes it that much more special. So, with that said, I'm going to whine for a very short period of time, and then go back to my normal cheery (and horny) self.
Nights like last night are one of the few nights when I don't want to be home alone. After driving 800 miles to visit family, and participating in some of the requisite family drama, I was only too pleased to get back to my quiet little apartment. Until I stopped the car and realized that it still felt like the car was still moving. And it still felt like that an hour later.
I got into bed and thought back to the time I had a migraine and Howie made me cum so I would feel better. I tried to make myself get off to see if that would help. And after four nights of sleeping in a single bed with someone else in the same room, you'd think it would be a two minute orgasm! Instead, I laid there and felt more and more gross. Until I fell asleep at 9:15.
This morning I woke up headache-free, read some smut (complete with missing orgasm) and then continued on my way. And I wouldn't have have thought to mention my angst until the NY Post article Nobody Marries Their Best Sex Ever popped up in my twitter feed.
Most of my last few partners have been great sex. Howie, who I know I don't have a serious future with, is by far the best. What makes us great together is the amount of time we've spent learning what we like and what we want together. The one partner that wasn't that great was someone I could have seen a future with in other parts of my life, but would have forced me to spend a lot of time hiding out with a hitachi wand.
The article discusses how kids play a factor in the 'good sex' versus 'ok sex' with a partner decision: the more passionate your sex life is, the less stable other parts of your life may be. I know that I'm not planning to have children at this stage in my life, but am still open to the idea of finding someone to settle down with (although it isn't my life goal). I'm willing and able to take care of myself, and expect someone that I get into a serious relationship with to be able to do the same, knowing that there is always some give and take in any relationship.
So I guess my question is this: do I automatically rule out an amazing sex partner as a longterm life partner? Would I rather have someone who would do the laundry or someone who will rub my clit and give me an orgasm to make my migraine go away (or fuck me on the beach for that matter)? Is there a compromise between the two? I have friends who are all over the map, from happy and adventurous, to unhappy and unadventurous.
I don't think these are questions that I'm necessarily ready to answer right now, but something to keep in the back of my mind over the next few years. And I'm also curious to hear anyone else's opinion on the topic.
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