Howie: My friendship with Howie has suffered unfixable damage. It isn't my story to tell, and one that I don't feel comfortable talking about here. I take full responsibility for some of the damage, but I will spend the rest of my life wondering how important to him I actually was. I may go back and document some of our super hot sex (the cemetery story still needs to be told and I hope he'd be ok with me telling it), but he is no longer close to my heart- a truth that devastates me.
Abram: OVER! And not a bad thing. I struggled with Abram for months (as the last update talked about), and was in the process of figuring out that he was more friend than lover when I met the person I'll talk about next. A huge clincher was when I timed him arriving and my house and me hopping out of the shower. His response was to cover his eyes rather than look at me naked. DONE AND DONE! We also went on a hike a week earlier, and he refused to walk more than a few feet from the car. I'm the type of girl who would happily roll in the mud, and this did not go over well with me.
All of this leads me to my next (and current) story!
Aziz: A little over three years ago, someone who works in the same building complex as I do passed me his business card with a note on the back saying "I think you are the most beautiful girl and I'd love to buy you a drink." At the time, I was holding a giant torch for Howie, and decided to pretend like it never happened. In classic Candi style, every time I saw him for the next three years, I would run away. Because that's TOTALLY mature. I bumped into him in the cafeteria at the end of March of this year, and he asked me out for a second time. It was early, I was pissed off at Abram and I didn't have a good reason to say no. So I agreed to go out and have one drink with him that Friday. Well, one drink turned into last call, and I was smitten halfway through that first drink. I spent the night at the bar in his arms while talking, laughing and stealing kisses. I remember getting dressed to go out and texting with Howie that I was so annoyed that I had even agreed to go. And waking up slightly hungover the next morning feeling truly happy for the first time in a long time.
Dating Aziz has its ups and downs, and if we are able to make it work, we will truly be the American dream. Aziz was born in a Muslim country and immigrated to the US in his twenties. He is very dedicated to his friends and family, and often works second or third jobs to send money home to his parents, which makes it difficult to spend time together. He also occasionally doesn't have a problem with canceling plans last minute because he's exhausted from working too hard or needs to do something for a friend. Yet, if something breaks at my house or I need a ride somewhere, all I have to do is ask and he is there. All of this leads me to spend half the time thinking he's an insensitive douchebag and the other half wildly in love with him. I've been in rollercoaster relationships before, and I'm still undecided as to whether or not I want to continue on this one. It's currently Ramadan, and we are on somewhat of a hiatus. I'm trying to decide how invested I'll be once its over.
But...since this is a sex blog...OMG the sex. We waited a couple of weeks before we got into bed (mainly because he was working so much) and holy crap was it amazing. I had convinced tmyself hat after Howie, I would never find anyone who is as adventurous as I am, but I think I've found my match. Even standard vanilla sex is amazing, and he'll let me fuck him as long as I want- until I'm a sweaty drooling mess and can't move anymore. I'm sure that he's been with a ton of people with the type of work he used to do in his twenties and early thirties, but how good we are together surprised both of us. One morning, we were half asleep spoon fucking, and after he came, he muttered that he "didn't know it could be like this." From my perspective, I knew things were on the right track when he picked me up from the airport after I had been away for two weeks, and he leaned my chair back and gave me two orgasms as he drove me home without caring who in the world could see. I'm also so attractive to him that I've made him cum in his pants just by sitting on his lap while I talked on the phone at work, without any lap dance-style moves, which definitely makes me feel good about myself. He's also talked about going to a sex club with me so that other people can watch us fuck.
All of this kind of makes me wonder. Aziz is a semi-traditional Muslim dating an American girl and had sex with her after a month of knowing her. Is this just a fling for him? Does he tell me he loves me just to keep the sex coming? Does he have a wife waiting for him at home? I honestly don't mind if this is a fling for him, but I hope he's being honest enough with me before my heart gets too invested. I have friends on both sides of the fence and I know I have to make up my mind soon.
AND UPDATE OVER! Wow, that's a long one. I hope you read until the end! I'll keep everyone posted on how things go over the rest of Ramadan as our hiatus ends and things go back to normal. Or as normal as they can be in my world...
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